Now, I’ve never been one for frequent complaining (Huh!)
Even though life is far from plain sailing
I’ve seldom indulged in idle gossip (Huh)
Didn’t like to receive it, to share it or swap it
But now we’ve a reason to embrace it entirely
Since dishing the dirt’s become the mainstay of society

Let’s talk shop, Try infidelity
Let’s talk shop, Ssh! Botox celebrity
Let’s pursue irregularity
Some Minister’s passion
Is so much the fashion but
Ssh! Don’t mention the War

Let’s indulge in notoriety
Let’s be bold, Ssh! Forget sobriety
Let’s engage in impropriety
I’ve read, quite a bomb shell
She’s not such a nice gel, but
Ssh! Don’t mention the War

Who wants War? Ssh! Just politicians
Who wants War? Ssh! We’re selling munitions
What a bore! They’ve banned television
But still we can gossip
Avoiding the topic of you-know-what…
Ssh! Don’t mention the…
I forgot!
Unintentionally, what the hell
Don’t mentionally, kiss and tell
Must be told, not, not, not, not, not!
Here comes a War! Here comes a War
Here comes a War!
Don’t mention it